Ahhh, first day-a bein’ a BUSINESS-BORG! It’s been… REALLY FRIGGIN’ STRESSFUL! I’ve been gettin’ e-Mails ALL DAY from folks buyin’ up my WAREZ! The stress! The PRESSURE! It’s WEARIN’ on ‘ol TeckHead! But wait! I got CASH now! Direct deposit, baby! I think I’ll have me a ‘lil vacation with my SHMOKIN’-HOT wife ‘n my stalwart skull-buddy… to GENEVA-ON-THE-LAKE! Me ‘n Cassetta went last year ‘round this time… but we couldn’t do a whole lot ‘cuz, y’know, no DOSH! Eyup… OH SNAP! I totally forgot to write this month’s ISSUE! OH WAIT! I didn’t HAVE TO WORRY aboot that; y’wanna know why? ‘Cuz in this month’s issue, everything’s comin’ up VIRGIL! It took a while to COAX him into writin’ an issue, but the dude’s a real SPECIMEN! I LUV his BRAIN! Speakin’-a-which, his issue comes out TOMORROW! Anywho, I gotta go pack. We’re gonna hail a TAXI with all this newfound DOUGH ‘n take ‘er REALLLLL E-Z! See ya later!

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